How To Help and Not Hinder Your Husband (Guest Post by Amanda Donaldson)


My three-year old loves to help me around the house. She’ll even clean the toilet. But what she really loves best is helping me in the kitchen, especially when making cupcakes. She is such a great helper. I barely have to lift a finger, at least until the batter is fully mixed that is. At this time her eyes immediately widen and a sweet little grin takes over her face. The cake mix is so alluring she cannot help herself when she lifts the spoon to her mouth. All she can think about is that delicious batter resting on her tongue as it drips all over the counter. Not only have I lost my helper but I now have a bigger mess to clean up and my spoon is M.I.A. It isn’t until the cupcakes are iced that she regains interest.

We wives are like that at times with our husbands. Life is easy, perfect. We are enjoying the time spent with one another. Then we become distracted and are lured by other influences. It is only toward the end when we jump back on board for the best tasting part, like a freshly baked cupcake.

Wives can become distracted and even selfish, hindering our husbands from his leadership role. We may not even realize our faults until it’s too late. God says in Genesis 2:18, “I will make a helper suitable for Adam.” We are to help, not hinder our husbands as they lead our families through life and guide us spiritually. God gives us the perfect example of how to do this in Proverbs 31.

Her Character

She is worth more than rubies. She is so incredibly special. You may even say she is magnanimous (vv 10, 29). Her heart is strong and she is respected by others. She doesn’t worry with loads of anxiety; instead she loves to laugh (v 25). She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction to her children and friends, giving them wise and loving counsel (v 26). She is productive, not lazy (v 27). Above all, she fears the Lord. She is a simple person (v 30).

What does this look like for you and me?

  • Don’t spend hours on Facebook or watching TV when there is work to be done
  • Don’t be overly concerned with beauty and charm, spending tons of time or money
  • Submit to and obey the Bible, no matter how hard or painful it is

Her Husband

Her husband trusts her knowing everything’s in order because she brings him honor and joy (v 11). She brings him good, not harm in their marriage (v 12). Her husband is respected by others because he is respected at home (v 23). Finally, he feels blessed to be her husband (v 28).

What does this look like for you and me?

  • Don’t nag, disrespect, ignore or reject your husband
  • Say kind words about him to others
  • Don’t gossip about your problems
  • Pray for him as he leads your household whether you think he is “leadership material” or not

Her Children

The wife wakes before her household. She plants a garden (vv 15, 16). She provides clothing for her family, making sure her children are dressed for the appropriate season (vv 21, 22). Her children are happy and from that happiness joy radiates to others (v 28).

What does this look like for you and me?

  • Make breakfast and pack lunches
  • Don’t sleep in and expect the children to fend for themselves
  • Cut the grocery bill down by planting a year round garden
  • Shop within reason

Her Household

A wife of noble character works with eager hands (vv 13, 14). Her body is strong and fit to work vigorously (v 17). She stays up late into the night (v 18). She is crafty, selling her pieces for profit to help her husband. She will work outside the home when necessary to help her husband with his financial role (vv 19, 22, 24). She prays for and watches over her family (v 27).

What does this look like for you and me?

  • Plan out meals for the family and budget appropriately
  • Exercise and don’t constantly eat junk; keep the food pyramid in mind when making meals
  • Get caught up on chores or work after the children are asleep
  • Use Pinterest as a tool to express your creative side
  • Meet your children’s friends and their parents before sending them to their house

The Needy

She extends open arms to poor and extends her hands to needy (v 20). She is charitable (v 24).

What does this look like for you and me?

  • Buy the homeless guy a Subway meal and bottled water
  • Volunteer at a local Goodwill or other charitable store
  • Go through your closet, grab everything you haven’t worn in the past month, and give it away

If this post is helpful share it with a friend!
Click “Leave A Comment” to share what steps you are taking or going to take to become a helper for your husband!

6 thoughts on “How To Help and Not Hinder Your Husband (Guest Post by Amanda Donaldson)

    • Yes Karen it is! I’m currently reading “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. I highly recommend it. It takes less than 5 minutes to read a chapter and at the end of each chapter she takes you through a guided prayer with scripture. I found my copy at Valerie’s bookstore. **Amanda**

  1. I understand what is right and is good and strive for these things but being a mom that works 40+ hours a week plus and is a very active member of our church and is an involved parent, it is definitely tough at times to do all of these things. I am very blessed to have a husband that shares responsibilities of cooking, and cleaning and co-managing our day to day schedule. I see him as a blessing that I can share our responsibilities of day to day life.

    • Yes, absolutely being a full time mom, wife, and working outside of the home is very difficult. This is where prayer for guidance, patience and keeping priorities in order is very important. The Holy Spirit will give you the endurance and strength to be the perfect mom and wife for your family. It is very helpful when a husband is willing to pitch in. “Reward” him greatly, if you know what I mean! Show him your appreciation as much as possible. **Amanda**

  2. It is a topic that I have a serious strong passion about. There’s no doubt that most people today forget how important this matter is. I believe it is a foundation upon which a number of other things are built and if we do this stage wrong, there are lots of dire consequences in the long run. As a result, we should be careful and think about how precisely we want to strategy this topic. I thank the writer for giving a wonderful first try at drawing near it.
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